Funny Celebrity Quotes

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"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole
relationships." Sharon Stone

"My girlfriend always laughs during sex---no matter what
she's reading." Steve Jobs (Founder: Apple Computers)

"I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with "Guess" on it. I
said, "Thyroid problem?" Arnold Schwarzenegger

"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for
black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black
pimps." Tiger Woods

"Capital punishment turns the state into a murderer. But
imprisonment turns the state into a gay dungeon-master."
Rev. Jesse Jackson

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a
son-of-a-bitch." Jack Nicholson

"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he
lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it
is." Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady)

"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a
man's genitals through his wallet." Robin Williams

"Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of
it as the only time of the month that I can be myself."
Roseanne

"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."
Billy Crystal

"According to a new survey, women say they feel more
comfortable undressing in front of men than they do
undressing in front of other women. They say that women are
too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful."
Robert De Niro

"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that
many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms.
They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?"
Dustin Hoffman

"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men
think, I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked."
Jerry Seinfield

"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman
I don't like and just give her a house." Rod Stewart

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis,
and only enough blood to run one at a time." Robin Williams

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