Men's Thesaurus

[XIR.Xanton]

MEN'S THESAURUS

"I'M GOING FISHING" Means: "I'm going to drink myself
dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my
hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."

"IT'S A GUY THING" Means: "There is no rational thought
pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of
making it logical."

"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?" Means: "Why isn't dinner already
on the table?"

"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR..." Means: Absolutely
nothing. It's a conditioned response.

"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN" Means: "I have no idea
how it works."

"I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY
MIND." Means: "I was wondering if that redhead over there is
wearing a bra."

"TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU ARE WORKING TOO HARD." Means: "I
can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR." Means: "Are you still talking?"

"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS." Means: "I remember the
theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I
ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every
car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."

"I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES."
Means: "The girl selling them on the corner was a real
babe."

"OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
Means: "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to
death before I admit that I am hurt."

"HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING." Means: "And I
sure hope I think of some pretty good reasons soon."

"I CAN'T FIND IT." Means: "It didn't fall into my
outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?" Means: "What did you catch me
at?"

"I HEARD YOU." Means: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you
just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well
enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at
me."

"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE" Means: "I am used
to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."

"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC." Means: ""Please don't try on one more
outfit, I'm starving."

"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE." Means: "No one
will ever see us alive again."